Pixels of Faith

How much faith do I really need? I know I constantly need the counsel of the Holy Spirit to guide me. And that requires faith. I know I need the strength of the Lord Jesus to empower me every day. And that takes faith. Therefore, I usually conclude that I have at least enough faith to go to Heaven when I die. And I don’t feel I need any more.

However, in several places in the gospels, Jesus threatens religious veterans, like me; with death as they rest on their existing knowledge of a God they thought they knew, but soon realize they had no idea. Matthew 7:23 is one example.

Another condemning quotation of Jesus is found in Luke 17:6, where the disciples ask their master “Increase our faith,” something I have also asked Jesus to do for me on many occasions. Jesus’ response to them has been misquoted as an encouragement for centuries. A popular translation says: “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.” A mustard seed is the smallest seed that can be planted in the ground. But it would soon grow, and one day become the largest of garden plants (Matt 13:32, Mark 4:32). Mustard seeds are not as common in our culture as they were in Jesus day. But something else that is equally as small, powerful and known by most western civilizations are pixels, “the smallest element of an image that can be individually processed in a video display system” (www.Dictionary.com). And like mustard seeds, they too, with a little bit of help, can become something magnificent.

Casual readers could assume two things from this verse: 1) that it is easy to acquire faith, (because all I need to do is have a pixel worth of belief in Jesus), and 2) the results of my faith are, and will always be, amazing. But I argue that this translation is a little bit watered down from what Jesus probably meant, when he first shared this piece of wisdom with His disciples.

Instead, I think Jesus probably said something a little bit more like this: “If you only had as much faith as a pixel, you could say to this Douglas fir, 'Be uprooted and planted in Hudson’s Bay,' and it will obey you. But you don’t even have that much!” I think the disciples believed that, through some sort of telepathic osmosis, they would automatically have as much faith as their teacher because they spent three years, eating, sleeping and breathing Jesus. But even that wasn’t enough. They needed an active ingredient to make their faith alive.

Repeatedly, Jesus questioned His disciples’ (mostly Jewish insiders) ability to do what he asked. They consistently showed a lack of faith in Him and His Father, whom they supposedly knew (John 14:7). But in Matthew 8, a Roman, an outsider, gave an example of faith that Jesus had not seen in his dah-ciples.

As Iraqis despise Americans, Jews despised Romans. A primary reason was that the Romans were stronger, showing their strength over them regularly. So, when a rich-Roman sent his delegates to Jesus, asking Him to come heal his servant, the Jewish crowd responded, “Good! Something is wrong with those Romans!”

Peter was exasperated with the servant. “Can’t you see that He’s busy? Jesus came for us Jews, not for you Gentiles (non-Jew)!”

Andrew piped up, “You don’t believe in Jesus anyway, you believe in your lord. Go ask him to heal your servant!”

But Jesus responded to the Roman servant, “I will go and heal him.”

But as He turned to follow the Centurion’s servant, Peter and Andrew, exasperated that Jesus would give anyone else but them any attention, exclaimed in chorus, “Rabbi, you’re going the wrong way!”

As the crowd shifted their route to follow the Roman’s servant, their footsteps grew heavier, they moved slower and continued to badger Jesus. “What are you doing, you once called a Samaritan a ‘dog!’ (Matthew 15:26) That’s what we expected you to say to this Roman! We hate them, don’t you hate them too? You’re one of us, and are here for us! Aren’t you?”

Ten minutes later, another servant came with more news from the dreaded Roman’s house. “My master says, ‘I am not worthy to have You, Jesus, come to my house. You are righteous, I am sinful. And besides, it’s not clean enough for you to enter. Just heal him from here. I know you can do this, because I ask my servants and slaves to do their jobs, and they do it. You have shown authority to heal, so you are certainly able to do what you say.’”

If he could have, Jesus would have leapt for joy. “Why can’t these Jews have as much faith as your master? I haven’t met anyone in all of Israel who has as much faith as him.” Then turning to the crowds, Jesus said, “This man, and many foreigners like him will certainly join Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in my Father’s kingdom, and they are outsiders! Don’t you Jewish insiders understand what it takes to join him in Heaven too? You’ve been learning about it for years! But if you don’t, you won’t.”

Turning back to the rich-Roman’s servant, Jesus said, “You may go, your fellow servant is healed because you believed he could be.”

In Jesus day, Jewish boys would be overwhelmed with an understanding of Yahweh and the Torah (first five books of the Bible). Calling oneself a Jew (an insider) would undoubtedly be an honor they would be proud of for the rest of their lives. Today, children raised in Christian families may also be overwhelmed with the Bible, church and Sunday school, and may or may not be proud of their faith. But Jesus encourages insiders, to use their pixel of faith, rather than ask for more, so it may grow to become a support to others in need. Then, weather you are an in or out-sider you may do the same as the Roman centurion did.

Jesus, Judas and the Show-People

Who do you follow? There have been many great leaders and well known personalities who have accumulated admirers for one reason or another. They could be political leaders who receive votes, talented sports icons, activists who strive towards an admirable goal, or even your neighbor, who works hard everyday to support his family.
The gospels at the beginning of the New Testament give many examples of the leadership qualities another man possessed.
The New Testament book of Mark gives several examples of the qualities of Jesus Christ, who was in charge of every situation that involved him, even if it had not happened yet. For those disciples who had their eyes on Him, the immeasurable joy they felt while they watched their Teacher work his wonders was inevitably nothing short of awesome. But those who were not looking in the same direction as their Rabbi, instead focusing on their own frail hopes and desires, missed out.
In Mark 14, Jesus and His disciples were walking toward Jerusalem. They asked Him, “As everybody knows, Passover is coming up. Where would you like to eat it this year?”
Jesus said, “Go on ahead of us into the city. As you enter, follow a man carrying a jar of water on his head. Say to the owner of the house he enters, “The Teacher will be here in a few minutes and is wondering: ‘Where is the guest room I can enjoy the Passover meal with my disciples?” He will lead you upstairs, to a large furnished room. Make the rest of the preparations there.” So, off they went into the city, finding everything just as Jesus had said.
For the two disciples who received Jesus’ instructions and accepted the responsibility of preparing the Passover meal, Jesus’ words had simply amazed them. As the other disciples entered the room several hours later, they also must have been surprised that Jesus had known about this place, as they had not been there before. “How did He know it was furnished?” they may have wondered, “he couldn’t have looked through the windows, it’s on the second floor.” As eleven of the disciples were yet again enthralled about yet another amazing act that Jesus had performed, Judas’ mind was in a different place, desiring to follow a different spirit than Jesus’.
As the twelve disciples sat, eating, talking, and enjoying the bread and wine the servant girls had brought, Jesus dropped a bombshell, stating a much unfortunate fact. “One of you, yes you, who have loved me for three years, will betray me.”
At this, all of the disciples objected individually and collectively. Peter said, “How can you have the gall to say something like that. We’ve been faithful for the long hall. What makes you think we will stop now?” Others agreed, “No, not a chance. You were able to predict the place where we would eat this meal, but surely you can’t predict that one of us would do something like that, can you?”
Judas was not arguing; he was barely listening. He had just arrived back from a top secret meeting with some fairly important people who had offered him money if he would do just that, relinquish his allegiance to his Teacher. This would allow his archrivals, the dreaded show-people, to do what they wanted with Him. Though he had enjoyed the last three years with Jesus, seeing some pretty fantastic miracles, watching his teacher walk on water, and even receive some free meals, it was now time to get something he really wanted, cold, hard cash, and the show-people were willing to give it. His desire for money, in exchange for his cooperation was just too tempting to turn down. It did not matter how he got it, he just needed money.
When I am told that I will receive money for doing some particular act, I feel better about doing it. And Judas was undoubtedly encouraged that the show-people, the most important people in his day, were willing to pay him for any particular task. I am sure that Judas had dollar signs in his pupils as he thought about the possibilities. “These guys are the most influential people in the world. They are surely very rich, and if I hand my teacher over to them, which is a very simple thing to do, I’ll get rich too! It doesn’t matter that he has said it would be better for the person who betrays him, to have never been born (Matt 26:24, Mark 14:21, Luke 22:22). At least I’ll die with the most riches, and the man with the most wins! Now I know why I wanted to follow this guy three years ago. The wait is finally paying off!”
What does it mean to betray someone? And what will happen as a result?
The dictionary says that to betray somebody means to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling a responsibility to that person. As it was his job to make sure that the finances of Jesus ministry were spent wisely, Judas was well practiced in this first form of betrayal, often helping himself to the collective moneybag, and may well have been the disciples’ first guess as to who may just betray their Lord and Teacher.
Judas too may well have known that what the show-people had asked him to do was wrong. However, the fact that they would give him more money, satisfying his’ greatest weakness, was enough for him to do anything they asked, so he accepted their low-ball offer of 30 pieces of silver. Bible commentator David Guzik has written that thirty pieces of silver was the lowest the religious leaders paid for any single action. Receiving only thirty pieces of silver told Judas “we think of you as nothing more than a slave.” But because of this promise of extra finances, no matter how little it was, he was willing to tell his master’s greatest enemies, Jesus greatest secret. Whether Judas felt ripped off by the Show-people or not, this second act of betrayal, delivering or exposing a person to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty will forever be linked with his name. Therefore, a few hours later, Judas watched in horror as these once respected people did something so unrespectable, using him as a simple tool to get their hands on a much bigger fish. The Show-people were surely some of the cheapest men this world has known, and Judas knew this fact first hand. ‘They were, after all, only there to show-up, to show others up, and to show-off.’
Though he was a disciple of Jesus, Judas’ eyes were often focused on other things. But if you read further, his heart would slowly change, soon despising the money he was given, throwing it back into the laps of the Show-people who gave it to him in the first place, hoping to buy Jesus life back again. But the show-people would not allow it. They had finally caught the big fish they had been looking for. Judas could only watch in horror as his Teacher and Lord was sentenced to death. Judas’ inability to cope under his own self-inflicted pressure showed when he soon ended his life, knowing he was the one responsible for ending the life of his Master.
You surely know some people like Judas, who take their eyes off Jesus. Maybe they keep their eyes off of him entirely, to indulge in the things of this world. You may even know some ‘show-people’ too, who rip other people off, asking for a lot but giving little in exchange. But instead of talking the talk, as these people did, Jesus walked the walk, doing the things His Heavenly Father did. Who will you follow?
Choosing to follow and trust Jesus could, at first, be like voting for the underdog, cheering for the player everybody thinks has the least talent, or the activist with the weirdest ideas. But if we take the biggest risk, we shall receive the greatest gain. If Jesus gives correct details like where to prepare a single meal, or predicts that a dear disciple of his will betray him, how much more should we listen to Him as he tells us the intricate instructions of our lives? If he is right about these instructions, how can we presume that his words about our lives might be wrong?

Jesus S.E.A. – Are disabilities just another ‘evil spirit’?

The dictionary defines ‘disability as ‘a lack of adequate power, strength, or physical or mental ability that prevents a person from living a ‘normal’ life or from holding a gainful job. Special Education Assistants (S.E.A.) have been working in our public and private schools for many years now so that those children with disabilities may find it easier to succeed in their studies. In 1995, Laurie Beth Jones published a book called “Jesus, CEO” a bold yet sensitive inspirational guide for leadership success. If I were to write a book called “Jesus, S.E.A.” what would it look like? How would Jesus help children overcome their disabilities? As Bible readers can attest to, Jesus healed everyone he touched, talk to or influenced in some way. If Jesus was an S.E.A., I would expect that though he might help children with reading, math, history or science, he may also heal them of their disabilities entirely.

I have heard it mentioned that a person may be able to perform his/her job so well that they may one day work themselves out of a job because of how effectively and efficiently they do their work. As an S.E.A., I work to lessen the load of children with disabilities, hopefully making it easier for them to succeed in their day to day educational endeavors. Recently I wondered, in addition to helping them complete their work, if we prayed for healing for these children, the Lord, who promises to “do more than we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20) may take away their disabilities. However, I wonder, so that we may always have a job in special education, we work to ‘deal’ with disability rather than simply get rid of it as Jesus did.

Mark 9 tells the story of a father, who brings his ‘demon-possessed’ child to Jesus’ disciples, hoping that they could heal his son as their Teacher was temporarily absent. But all they could do was argue with the Pharisees about the legal, spiritual and social problems the father had to deal with. As Jesus came down the mountain, surely full of the Holy Spirit, as he had just experienced the most wonderful encouragement any son could ever receive from his father (Mark 9:2-13) he found his disciples arguing with the other teachers of the day. When the boy’s father saw Jesus, he was surely ecstatic, as the one person who could heal his son had finally arrived.

“What’s going on here?” Jesus calmly asked.

The anxious father began by quickly explaining his son’s situation. “His body has been taken over by Satan; he can’t talk or hear, and can become incredibly violent. He foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth and becomes as stiff as a board. I was hoping that your healing power would have rubbed off on your disciples, so I asked them to help him, but they couldn’t.” (verses 17-18).

Our secular society views praying as a hypothetical hope; one that shouldn’t be trusted unless it is our last option. When it finally is, we may or may not throw ourselves at the mercy of a God we may or may not know. Can we expect this God to answer our deepest cries when we, in previous years, may have practically severed our relationship with Him?

No matter if their relationships with Him had previously been severed or not, it didn’t matter to Jesus. All that mattered to Him was if they had faith right now. Throughout the gospels, the one thing that bothered Jesus most about his disciples, and the majority of the crowds he preached to, was discovering again and again that they had no faith. Here, Jesus encounters yet another crowd of people without faith.

Verse 19 continues: “Gee, you guys drive me crazy! Don’t you believe in anything? Your souls are like sivs! You can’t hold on to anything God gives you for two seconds! Bring him here. Knowing they had disappointed their teacher, they sheepishly pulled the boy to the feet of Jesus.” (v19-20).

For a few moments, Jesus just watched the boy, who fell to the ground repeatedly, writhing, foaming at the mouth, and shouting incoherent words. “How long has he been doing this?” Jesus calmly asked. (v20-21)

“For years!” the man all of a sudden was in a great hurry, “just do something quickly!” And under his breath added, “if you can.” Underlying words always caught Jesus attention. This was no exception.

“Hold it right there,” he said, “healing can wait, faith can’t. What do you mean, ‘if I can!’” (v21-23)

The man continued his frantic pace, “Oh hurry up, I believe, I believe, really I do! But gimme more faith!” (v24)

The crowd was quickly growing, so because of this and not the man’s anxiety or sudden profession of faith, Jesus quickly gave the vile spirit its marching orders: "Dumb and deaf spirit, I command you—Out of him, and stay out!" Screaming, and with much thrashing about, it left. The boy was pale as a corpse, so people started saying, "He's dead." But Jesus, taking his hand, helped him to his feet. (Several lines of verses in 25-27 have been taken from ‘The Message’ by Eugene Peterson)

Later, back in the house with his disciples, they asked Jesus, “Why couldn’t we cast out that evil spirit?” (v28)

“You can’t cast out anything by yourselves, only prayer to my Father can.” (v29)

This story left me with a few questions. Would the problems that demons inflicted mankind with in Jesus day be called ‘learning,’ or ‘physical,’ disabilities today?

Jesus has told us that those who have faith in Him will be able to do what He did, and even more (John 14:12). So, if we pray for the students in our classes, could the disabilities lesson or disappear entirely?

I often pray for myself, “Lord Jesus, please give me the strength and wisdom to work with the students you have placed in my care.” In a round about way, this may be like praying for my students because I know that I am a member of Jesus body, doing what he has called me to do. (Romans 12:4-8). But I rarely pray, “Jesus, please heal _____ of his _____.” Because we do not often pray like this, could this be one of the reasons why we feel we do not see the healing power of God in our day?

Each week at school brings new challenges along with some old and expected ones. S.E.A.’s quickly learn which children will be harder or easier to work with. But when a student reacts, what should we do about it? Should we brainstorm new strategies that may or may not work better? I have done this as it is a good idea. Or as Jesus suggests, should we pray that God would heal the child of the disability he currently has? I hope to continue this action until it becomes a habit and I trust that it will work even better. My work as an S.E.A. may encourage children to earn better grades, become better friends or someday hold a better job. But, if we pray that God would release our disabled children of their challenges, this would be much greater than any grade they receive, friend they make, or job they hold.

As Jesus was healing a man born blind, he said:

“We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am in the world, I am tne Light of the World.”

John 9:4-5

We’ve got to Pray, just to make it today!

In Luke 11, Jesus teaches us how to pray and immediately follows it with a practical story of its importance. In it, a man is confronted at midnight by an acquaintance who knocks on his door and asks for several loaves of bread because a friend of his has just arrived and he has nothing to give him to eat. The man inside counters, “I am warm and comfortable with my wife and children in bed. The door is locked, and I need a good night sleep. So I can’t help you.” The man’s prayer to his friend for help has apparently been denied. But the impact that persistent prayer makes is so remarkable, that it can move the hearts and minds of the healthy about the sick, parents about their children, masters about their pets, and even of God regarding his creation.
In his book, ‘The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God’, Dallas Willard expresses an unfortunate yet common perspective that many share regarding prayer:
“Suppose your children believed that you didn’t do anything differently because they asked you. For example; you will give them money on Friday evening regardless of whether they ask you for it or not. But they also believe that you require them to go through the ritual of asking, and so they do it. . . . They do it even though they believe you will or will not give it to them regardless of what they do, and you know they believe this.”
Is prayer a matter of ritual, or does it involve exercising faith?
In Dr. Randolph Byrd's 1988 study on intercessory prayer, a percentage of 393 coronary patients, who were hospitalized due to heart attacks or equally traumatic experiences, were prayed for, while the remainder were not. The study concluded that whether the patients were receiving prayer from across the street or across the country, distance did not play a role in the effectiveness of the prayers given. And considerably fewer patients, who received prayer, died or needed to use the most potent drugs, not one requiring life support.
We have two cats at our house who regularly meow, demanding that I (or anyone else within earshot) would stop what they are currently doing and attend to their immediate and desperately important need. On most occasions, this involves lifting them up to where their bowl of food is kept, on top of our washing machine. Sometimes I complain, “can’t you jump? It’s not that high!” Or attempt to ignore them entirely. But my frustration with their persistent and distracting noise always results in giving them my attention for at least a second or two so they will stop meowing.
If you were a cat who needed just a little bit of help to get to its food supply or a patient in a hospital who needed healing of some kind, what route would you take to get it? Cats would probably continue to meow and hopefully America would continue to pray for those in need. In Luke 11, the man waiting outside his friend’s house was also persistent, continuously knocking, talking and waiting on his friend to get up and give him what he needed.
If however, the man outside decided to leave, his friend inside would not need to do anything about his situation. However, if the man inside finally did decide to get out of bed, but his friend outside had decided that this situation was a hopeless one and left, he would not be there to receive the things that he had asked for. If my cats had decided to stop meowing and instead lie in front of the fire, they would still be hungry and not be ready to receive another meal from me. And if America had stopped praying for their countrymen in need, they may just die.
How important are the things you are currently praying about? Are they worth waiting for? As the man waited, all the time explaining his situation, repeating his request, and not allowing his friend inside to sleep, his request was finally granted. Are you willing to wait long enough for God to answer? If you do, you may just be rewarded.

Ask and you'll get;
Seek and you'll find;
Knock and the door will open.
Don't bargain with God.
Be direct. Ask for what you need.
This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in.
Don't you think the Father, who loves you, will fulfill your needs when you ask him?
Luke 11: 9-10, 13

I don’t need Satan to tempt me, I can do it all by myself

Some people believe that God allows Satan to tempt them. If we are Christians, I believe God doesn’t allow Satan to tempt us, as He did in Job’s case, but protects us by the blood of his Son, Jesus Christ. But does Satan need to tempt us? As the bumper sticker says We seem to do a pretty good job of tempting ourselves. And for this reason, Christians are often no different than any other ‘Joe’ or ‘Joanna’ we may see on the street. But if we truly believe that Jesus is the Son of God and who God is, temptation shouldn’t be the problem we make it out to be.
1 Peter 5:8 says that Christians must “be self-controlled and alert [because] your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” This verse is a reason why Christians often do one of three things when they find themselves in trouble. They may cower in their fear, concluding that they are unable to do anything about the fact that Satan is stronger than they are, therefore they must accept defeat. They may attempt to take him on one-on-one, in their own strength, designing their own battle strategies because they believe that ‘Satan is not as big as the Bible says he is.’ They may conclude that, ‘no one else has had this problem before, so no one can help me with it.’ Or they may ignore the supernatural altogether and conclude: ‘I created this problem, so I must solve it myself.’
This last option is a good one when the problem is a spilt cup of coffee or a bulging waist line. Even when the problem involves people, other human beings can and should expect to play key roles in solving the problems they are Involved in creating. But everyone over the age of five can probably realize when a problem is too big for simply their own strength to fix. But millions of Christians believe ‘I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength’ (Philippians 4:13) so they say, ‘I can do it by myself, thank you very much.’
But has Christ given you, even a plural you, the strength all the time? Instead of relying on ourselves, our friends, or even our churches, I argue that when the problem is too big for human means (or even when it is not) we should rely first and foremost on our God.
Instead of Fighting, fleeing, or failing to notice that Satan is simply doing his job in our society, there are at least three proven strategies that work.
1. Believe that God is bigger than anything we may come up against.
Romans 8:31-35 says: So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture. (The Message)
2. Cheer up because you are not alone in your struggles.
1 Peter 5:9-11 says: Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. (The Message)
3. “Pray continually.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
James 5:13-16 says: Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV)
As we enter a new year, having faith in our God, taking heart in our current situation and praying for ourselves and our friends are three New Year’s resolutions I intend and hope to keep. The following is my prayer for my new year. Though I didn’t write it, I will gladly join in. Feel free to join me, wherever you may be reading this at the moment, having faith that God is listening to your prayer.

Heavenly Father,
we come before you
today to ask your forgiveness
and seek your direction and guidance.
We know your word says “Woe to those
who call evil good” but that is exactly
what we have done. We have lost
our spiritual equilibrium and
reversed our values.
We confess.

We have ridiculed the absolute faith of your Word and called it ‘pluralism’.
We have worshipped other gods and called it ‘multiculturalism’.
We have endorsed perversion and called it ‘alternate lifestyle’.
We have exploited the poor and called it ‘lottery’.
We have honored laziness and called it ‘welfare’,
we have killed our unborn and called it ‘choice’,
we have shot abortionists and called it ‘justifiable’.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it ‘building self-esteem’.
We have abused power and called it ‘politics’.
We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions and called it ‘ambition’.
We’ve polluted the air with profanity & pornography & called it ‘freedom of expression’
We’ve ridiculed the tine-honored values of our forefathers and called it ‘enlightenment’.

Search us Oh God and know our hearts today.
Cleanse us from every sin and set us free.
Guide and bless these men and women
who have been sent to direct us
to the centre of your will.
I ask it in the name
of your Son, the
living Savior,
Jesus Christ,
AMEN!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one
Matthew 6:12-13

Prayer taken from: “Recapture the Wonder: Experiencing God's Amazing Promise of Childlike Joy” by Ravi Zacharias

The Quiet Christ – Part 1

Salvation was the last thing on my mind. Day in and day out, the first and only things I thought about were to “kill or be killed, to plunder or be robbed, and revolt or submit, the forbidden ‘s’ word. My life was one of constant movement, running from the Pharisees, Sadducees (I prefer to call them the harass-ees) and the like. I was always the life of my angry, ranting ‘parties;’ always demanding revenge against Harod, Caesar, whoever, it didn’t matter to me. Nothing mattered to me, I didn’t matter to me!
Before I ended up here, in the filth and mire of death row, I was always running, yelling or both. Whether it was for my life or my death, I was not sure. Rioting in the day, when I could be seen, and robbing at night, my life had become what I did for a living, a riot. Peace, what is peace? It did not exist for me and I had no desire to find out if it could. Life wasn’t great, but it was what I had made it. And at least I wasn’t a tax collector, a leper or a woman; and there are lots of those. So, as I see it, I guess I was somewhere in the middle of Caesar’s hierarchy.
I’ve been here on death row for a week because of my latest rantings. Though they have put me away for a night and a day many times before, whether a few weeks for robbery, a few days for raising a ruckus downtown or a few hours for rape, I’ve always found my way out. Many friends of mine have received slaps on the wrist like these before, but I am the first to sleep here.
For a few days, I was proud of myself. “Matthias or Judas had never been here. If I would live to tell the story, they would be proud of me,” I thought. But I didn’t care. Instead of eating bread and wine I had stolen, locusts and drips of dirty water were now my regular diet. Sleeping in my own disgusting mess, on this cold, compacted slab of dirt in this pitch black dungeon was the pit I had dug for myself. I guess I better just lie in it.
It seemed like I had spent an eternity here before anyone yelled at me from the other side of the wall, until I recognized Matt’s voice, a friend whom I had robbed with on many occasions. The last time I heard from him, he had told me of someone who might just be my room mate.
Matt - Hey Rabby, are you in there?
Rabby – Yeah, wasting away as normal. I am getting used to the taste of locusts. Hey, can you throw me anything?
Matt – Just some day old bread, I’ll try to get it through your window, it’s pretty tiny though. Hey have you heard about this guy, Jesus?
Rabby – Oh, that guy. Lots of people are talking about him. I hear he’s gonna die with me soon. He’s just another criminal like me, another worthless, useless bag of scum with no reason to live. When he gets in here, heaven knows what I’ll do to him.
Matt – But he’s not quite like that. Yeah, he may be your room mate soon, but thousands of people follow him every day. I heard that he has healed people of leprosy, allowed the lame to walk, given sight back to the blind, raised the dead and even healed people from a distance!
As Matt continued to yell from the other side of the wall, I became intrigued as never before. Though Matt had finally thrown some bread through the window, I wasn’t hungry. I was too interested to eat. This man had been charged by the Harassees with a similar crime as mine and they hoped to given my sentence for doing the exact opposite of what I had done. Instead of robbing and murdering, this man had created more of what the people needed, like bread and wine and that sort of stuff. And instead of rioting, this man had offered peace. My attitude began to change.
Rabby – He has some kind of ‘in’ with people in high places, huh? Could he get any bread or wine in here? Gee, if my cell mate can do that, I wonder if he can pick these chains apart too.
Matt – Well apparently, he’s done it all. He’s quite a magician. I’ve heard that he’s walked on water, turned water into wine and he’s even fed the thousands who follow him with a shepherd boy’s lunch.
Rabby – Well, that will definitely keep them coming back for more.
Matt – But that’s just it. He says that we don’t have to come back for more bread or water. He says he is the manna and the well spring of life.
Rabby – If he can provide all that food, that’s quite a currier service he’s running.
Matt – And the clincher is the best part. All we need to do to get all this is believe.
Rabby – Believe what?
Matt – Believe that he is who he says he is.
Rabby – Well, who is he?
Matt – He says he’s the son of his father.
Rabby – Well, that makes sense, so am I.
Matt – But that’s why the Harassees want to kill him. He says his father is . . . Yahweh!
Rabby – Well, if he ever comes in here, I’ll ask him about it.
As Matt left and I slowly gnawed my way through the tough bread he had thrown through the window, I began to wonder. “Manna and wine of life . . . Healer, even from a distance. . . Son of Yahweh. . . Well, my life looks like it will end soon. He can’t give me what I really need because he’s out there and I’m in here. And even if he could give me life for a few days, it wouldn’t matter, because we will both be dead soon. But how can he give life anyway? He’s just like me, ‘the son of his father.’ He’s a nobody.

The Quiet Christ - Part 2

I will never forget the next night. As I heard another few hammer-whacks pounding nails into flesh and wood, and the agonizing cries that immediately followed, I began to see life, or rather death, from their point of view. It was just a matter of time when that would be me, and time was ticking. When I was free, I remember seeing their crosses on the roadside. It scares me half to death when I hear them groan.
It was now late Friday evening (at least I think it was Friday) and Jerusalem would soon celebrate the Passover. It would be my first Passover in prison. On most
evenings, people were in their homes getting ready for the coming meal, but tonight I could hear the faint murmur of a distant, angry mob shouting my name. My ears perked up. After a short hush, I heard the mob shout even louder, “Crucify Him, Crucify Him!” I guess tonight is my night to join those other criminals on the crosses outside, and my hope of having a new room mate, has run out.
But wait . . . the doors were opening . . . ‘who’s the new criminal?’ . . . But there was none. Just a couple of guards walking purposefully in my direction!
Guard – “Barabbas?”
Rabby – “Yeah, it’s my time isn’t it.”
Guard – “The crowds want you, so out with you.”
As they led me through the streets to the waiting crowd, protesting outside Pilate’s house, my knees shook and buckled as I expected the worst. But nothing came. This gruff form of mercy was something I had never felt before. Maybe I’ll get to see the city one last time before hanging from a cross.
But as I drew closer, I heard the crowd chanting joyfully, “Barabbas is free, and Jesus will die! Barabbas is free, and Jesus will die! Barabbas is free, and Jesus will die!”
Is this Jesus the same person Matt was talking about? The man who can heal from a distance?
As I looked up, I saw the man I thought was Jesus. Wearing a crown of thorns on his head, he had marks from his most recent scourging showing through the purple garment he was wearing, down to his bare feet. He was being led away by several guards who took turns mocking him, hitting him with their staffs on his thorny crown, chanting “hail, king of the Jews!” And this ‘king of the Jews’ would die instead of me? This didn’t make sense. Night time is usually the best time to rob people, but I would set my job aside for one night to watch this fascinating plot unfold.
Pilate decided that the crucifixion would take place on scull hill, a place where I had been many times to say my last good byes to some of my closest friends. And if I had time, I would have asked Judas and Matt to come along with me. But who knows, maybe they were in the crowd.
It took a good hour to make it to the top as Jesus, whom they referred to as ‘the Christ turned criminal’, who was carrying his cross, was in no rush to be nailed to it. I was somewhere in the middle; hearing jeers from Harassees and other men, weeping from women pleading for his release and hungry, tired children, who didn’t want to be there at all.
Though there was hardly any room for a passing lane, a man running towards us attempted to do just that. Late for dinner I suspect. But the Harassees denied him safe passage and demanded that he carry Jesus’ cross back up Skull hill, as he had collapsed under its weight and didn’t have the energy to rise without help. If there was anyone who deserved to carry a cross, this cross, it was me. I could feel a tear running down my cheek because I could not give him the help he needed. He was taking my place, after all.
I was shell-shocked at the recent events. Two hours ago, I was expecting to die at any time. Instead, I am here, watching a complete stranger take my place and die instead. I began to connect the stories Matt had told me the other day and those of crying women behind me. They seemed to make sense somehow. “If this man had done all these good things, why is this happening to him? If I had done all of these bad things, why is this happening to me?”