What are your Diffabilities?

Living with disabilities like a visual impairment, partial paralysis and memory loss allows me to sympathize with others who struggle. We are not alone. We have ‘different abilities’ aka diffabilities that we can offer, entirely because of the things that we cannot offer. What are your diffabilities?

Proud of my Limp

Being touched by God is no easy thing. To be sure, it is a good thing. But though we desire it so much, we have no idea how much it will cost. So though His touch could be inspiring, generous or healing, it could, for at least a little while, be challenging; or downright miserable as He changes, enhances or even eliminates our hopes and desires.

In Genesis 32:22-32 Jacob, the third member of the second most famous trio in the Bible, wrestles with a Man for an entire night. As daybreak approaches, He requests that he let Him go, but Jacob refuses. “Not a chance. I need your blessing first, than I might.” Jacob needed a blessing so badly, he was willing to use all of his energy to get it.

And what a blessing it was. After wrestling with the Man, Jacob (a name that means ‘follower’) was re-named Israel (‘Struggles with God’), received a new outlook on life and a very soar hip-flexor muscle. And he had a limp to prove it. God never minds if we wrestle with Him because wrestling brings us close to Him, right where He wants us.

Thousands of years later, God continued to touch people, reminding them that he is the only way they can live a wholesome life, whatever type of limp they may receive. Matthew 9:23-26 is the second half of a double healing that Christ performs as he leaves his hometown of Nazareth. He has just healed a woman who has been bleeding internally for twelve years, and is receiving an ecstatic response from most of the people who believed the woman’s story. However, a doting father, who has previously begged him to come and raise his dead daughter back to life, is not worshiping, but weeping. “Hurry up, Teacher! I need you to do this now!”

Ancient Israel believed that after a person died, the life-giving spirit could possibly return if the right person could be found to bring it back. So time was ticking. This father, who was also a ruler of the people, was most definitely excited that he may have found the man who could possibly do the job. However, he was more than a little anxious that Jesus would work just a little bit quicker: “She died this morning and it is already evening, so please hurry!”

When Jesus finally arrived at the weeping father’s house, many were already there weeping along with him. But Jesus would have none of it. Apart from a few disciples and the child’s parents, Christ demanded to the crowd, “Leave us! If you can believe it, the child isn’t dead. She’s just taking a much needed nap.”

As you can expect and may already know, the crowd didn’t believe it, but laughed at Him instead. As Luke writes, when they were alone with the sleeping child, Christ took her hand and gently beckoned her, “Wakey, wakey” (Luke 8:54). As the grinning father left his house with his living daughter in his arms, he may have asked the bewildered and speechless crowd, “Who’s laughing now?”

I can only imagine what the rest of her childhood was like. Not many of her friends could boast that they had been raised from the dead. Not many fathers could say that they had seen what he had. But there were not many men who had walked the earth before Christ did, who could perform works like these. And though in the end, the girl died a second time, the touch she received from God incarnate instilled in her, and her father, a knowledge that she was truly loved by Him.

In Acts 9:10-19 Saul is touched and healed from his blindness by Ananias, a believer from Damascus. Ananias was worried about going to him because Saul was infamous for arresting and persecuting members of the early church, and it only makes sense to stay away from people like that. But the Spirit gently commands him, “Just go, for I will use him to do great things, and they won’t be easy.”

So, Ananias, shaking in his sandals, does what he is told, and his obedience ultimately changes the course of human history. He allows the Holy Spirit to use his hands to restores Saul’s sight. In time, Saul’s name changes to Paul (which means: humble), and Saul accepts a new commission to take the Lord’s message to the Gentiles, to kings, the people of Israel, and later to us.

Though Saul’s first limp, (his blindness) was temporary, he later had a second one. 2^nd Corinthians 12:7 says that Paul forever had a “thorn in [his] flesh” as he wrote much of the New Testament behind bars. But like no one else before or since, Paul learned and taught us what it means to “be joyful always; [to] pray continually; [to] give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) I am still hoping to fully learn what this means.

Any touch from God is awesome, but each comes with a cost. Jacob received a limp and a new name when he was touched by God. Once she took hold of Jesus hand, the girl had an understanding that she was loved and a new story to tell of God’s goodness. Saul’s sight was restored, and Paul endured his limp gladly for the remainder of his days.
What about you?

Ø As Jacob did, are you willing to struggle with God to receive His blessing?

Ø Will you have faith with the ruler that Jesus can restore the things that seem dead and gone?

Ø As Paul did, are you able to accept the limp you have as a blessing?

“If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed, if you look within you’ll be depressed, but if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest.”

Corrie ten Boom

Special Education Advocacy

In my job as a Special Education Assistant, I think about the people who have advocated on my behalf over the years, and would like to think of myself as someone who will do the same. Therefore, I like to call myself, and hope that I will become, a Special Education Advocate instead. It is this hope that brings several questions to mind. Most importantly, ‘What does it mean to be an advocate anyway?’ The dictionary defines an advocate as “a person who speaks, writes, or even pleads in support or defense of another person, cause, etc.” A person who does this can also be referred to as an intercessor. In this entry, I want to talk about a few advocates who have been a blessing and encouragement to me, on my way to becoming an advocate for others.

The first advocates I had were the first advocates everybody has. They are unpaid yet exceptional advocates known as parents. In addition to all the repetitive and expected acts that she did and does for me, mom made countless phone calls with teachers, doctors and others who help, placing her beloved son in the right hands. Since my birth, Dad has written hundreds of letters, made many phone calls and has driven hundreds of miles for his son. He has also argued with doctors, teachers, and even university professors to get the best for me. This was advocacy.

Mrs. Gleave was my S.E.A. during elementary school. As I spent grade 2 wearing my first pear of glasses, later ran for the cross country team several years in a row (always finishing near the back of the pack), and finally graduating in grade 6 winning the music award, Mrs. Gleave was there. She was a constant encouragement to me, raising my spirits with her laugh, which sounded like a bicycle, and being just as much a friend to me as to my classmates.

When I had my stroke in grade 9, I often used Mrs. Jackson (an S.E.A. for several students in my middle school), as a support as I walked down the halls, hoping to regain my balance as soon as possible. In front of my peers and classmates, I would walk with my arm around her shoulders. This was not cool in middle school. Nevertheless, what she did was certainly advocacy.

Years later, Mrs. Gleave gave me the greatest assistance of any S.E.A. while I, a university graduate in Psychology, wondered what new road, I should take. I had thought that the only option was to apply for a master’s program of some sort, and continue writing dreaded essays and exams for at least three more years. However, Mrs. Gleave said, “David would be a great S.E.A.” That was all I needed to hear. I began the two-year program that fall and the rest is history. This was advocacy.

In spite of the work that all of these people did, my Greatest Advocate is none of the previous. If it were not for the work of my Greatest Advocate, the many hours my parents, doctors and S.E.A.'s labored on my behalf would have been for not. My greatest advocate is God because I believe that from the first day, he has been leading my every step. First John tells Christians “we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” (1 John 2:1) And it is because of His acting, speaking and working on my behalf that I hope to do the same for others.

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think?"

Matthew 18:10-11

A few thoughts on Asperger's disorder

I currently work at an elementary school in North as a Special Education Assistant (SEA). This gives me the privilege of working with kids who have a variety of disabilities. Last term, my first, I worked with a child who has Asperser’s disorder, a variation of Autism. Working with him challenged me daily providing times of stress, laughter, joy and anxiety. He moved back to Korea at Christmas time and I have wished on many occasions since that he had stayed so I would be able to continue to work with him, learning more about this remarkable disorder.

Since then, I have heard nothing about Asperser’s. That is until I started reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, by Mark Haddon © 2003, a remarkable story told from the perspective of a boy with Asperser’s. There are two portions of this book that have effected me most because of their frankness and truth about what it is like to have Asperser’s.

Chapter 71 “All the other children at my school are stupid. Except that I am not meant to call them ‘stupid’ even though this is what they are. I’m meant to say that they have ‘learning difficulties’ or that they have ‘special needs.’ But this is stupid because everyone has learning difficulties, because learning to speak French or understanding relativity is difficult, and also everyone has special needs. Like father, who has to carry a little packet of artificial sweetening tablets around with him to put in his coffee to stop him from getting fat. Or Mrs. Peters, who wears beige colored hearing aide. Or Shaven, who has glasses so think that they give you a head ache if you borrow them. And none of these people are ‘special needs,’ even if they have special needs.”

As a person with 'special needs,' I have often wondered what it would be like for me, and for my family, if I were born without special needs. I have lamented over my disabilities many times. Due to my visual impairment, I cannot drive and have had to rely on others to take me places. Because of a stroke I had in 1993, I have difficulty remembering many past events, people's names, or things I need to accomplish.

I have been discouraged over these things. However, through the eyes of a person with disabilities, Mark Haddon reminds me that a large or even small minority does not share disabilities. Whatever they are, everybody has at least one disability, and for the most part, most of them are getting along just fine.

Chapter 73 “I used to think mother and father might get divorced. That was because they had lots of arguments and sometimes, they hated each other. This was because of the stress of looking after someone who has ‘behavioral problems’ like I have. I used to have lots of behavioral problems. But I don’t have so many now because I’m all grown up, and I can make decisions for myself, and do things on my own like going out of the house and buying things at the shop at the en of the road. These are some of my behavioral problems.

a) not talking to people for a long time. Once I didn’t talk to anyone for five weeks.

b) not eating or drinking anything for a long time. When I was six, mother used to get me to drink strawberry flavored slimming meals out of the measuring jug. And we’d have competitions to see how fast I could drink a quarter of a letre.

c) not liking being touched.

d) screaming when I’m angry or confused.

e) not like being in really small places with other people.

f) smashing things when I’m angry or confused.

g) groaning.

h) not liking yellow things or brown things. And refusing to touch yellow things, or brown things.

i) refusing to use my toothbrush if anyone else has touched it.

j) not eating food if different sorts of food are touching each other.

k) not noticing if people are angry with me.

l) not smiling.

m) saying things that other people think are rude. People say that you always have to tell the truth, but they do not mean this. Because you’re not allowed to tell old people that they’re old. And you’re not allowed to tell people if they smell funny, or if a grown up has made a fart. And you’re not allowed to say, ‘I don’t like you’ unless that person has been horrible to you.

n) doing stupid things. Stupid things are like emptying a jar of peanut butter onto the table in the kitchen, and making it level with a knife so that it covers all the table, right to the edges. Or burning things on the gas stove to see what will happen to them. Like my shoes, or silver foil, or sugar.

o) hitting other people.

p) hating France.

q) driving mother’s car. I only did this once by borrowing the keys when she went into town on the bus. And I hadn’t driven a car before, and I was eight years old and five months, so I drove it into the wall. The car isn’t there anymore because mother’s dead.

r) getting cross when someone has moved the furniture. It is permitted to move the chairs and the table in the kitchen because that’s different. But it makes me feel dizzy and sick if somebody moves the chairs and the sofa around in the living room or the dining room. Mother used to do this when she did the hoovering. So, I made a special plan of where all the furnitures mean to be, and did measurements and put everything back in its proper place afterwards, now I felt better. But since mother died, father hasn’t done any hoovering. That’s OK. But Mrs. Sheers did the hoovering once, but I did groaning and she shouted at father and she never did it again."

Do you recognize any of these challenges in yourself? I have seen them in me. As an SEA, I have seen kids with these problems. Some of them have been labeled with Asperser’s, but many others may do these things because they need a way to release their anger or anxiety. You may not be a person who refuses to eat food of other sorts of food are touching, you probably notice if people are angry with you, and you probably drive a car of your own. However, you may choose other things on this list. Like refusing to use your toothbrush if anyone else has touched it, smashing things when you are angry or confused, or even groaning in a proper way and at a proper time.

This list is not exhaustive. You may want to add to this list. You may add: biting nails, singing aloud (but to yourself) in a public place, or cracking your knuckles. To make us feel better, we often refer to these as habits, and reserve the 'disability' label for others who have something a little bit more serious. However, maybe our habits are a little bit more serious, and maybe someone's disability is not so serious.